It was the fifth GP I saw this year.
As I was leaving the apartment, A wished me good luck. I told her if this one still doesn’t work, I would really give up. Really, give up.
The wait was outrageously long—for an hour and a half I just sat there at the clinic, slowly losing my patience, dissociating.
When I saw the doctor I immediately noticed his softness and patience. I already felt a lot better compared to last ones.
Day 2 Getting sodium valproate
Well, we will wait until it works?
Day 3 Waking up disoriented…
But I don’t think it was the meds… it would more likely to be caused by low blood sugar and the intense conversation I had yesterday.
Day 4 Donating plasma while on the meds
Good that on this drug does not make one ineligible for plasma donation.
Day 5 Forgot to increase the dose
Just remembered that every three days I should increase the dose. But until today I am still only taking one tablet per day.
I haven’t experienced any side effects—touch wood. I think my confusing appetite is due to my menstrual cycle rather than the meds.
Still waking up at 4am, getting less than 5 hours‘ sleep. I know I’m in the mania phase. I’m glad that I was convinced to tackle this with the hep of science.
Day 6 Two tabs a day starting tonight
Then on the 8th, Wednesday it should increase to 3 pills a day.
Day 7 Is this side effect or not?
My appetite is mad right now. I have been eating so much. I can’t tell whether I’m experiencing the side effects or this is just part of my mania phase.
I also am not sure if I’m experiencing this cognitive disorder or not. I swear something was different with a student’s hair, but she insisted that she always wore her hair that way. I got so confused.
I am very sure that I am still in the mania phase, for how little sleep I am getting and how talkative I have been. Luckily today I was with the right people: Supervisor and N — I didn’t have to worry about regretting what I have said.
Day 8 Not yet any improvement in my mental state
Although today I feel extremely sad, depressed and exhausted, I do not think I am out of the mania phase. It was just that the high of yesterday was too high I necessarily am expressing the low tide today. The unfortunate lack of sleep and waking up from an emotional dream was not helpful. I cried myself to waking up. I still want to cry as I still feel the sadness lingering. I really wonder what this meds would do and hope it could actually help me feel better.
| name | value |
| location | Melbourne |
| date | 2025-10-01 |
| dateFormat | dd-mmm-yyyy |